Well, it happened. I got my first sports injury. Not excited. It happened after the tri, or at the tri, or a product of undertraining perhaps mixed with a bad chiropractor visit mixed with transition to minimalist running...pick one. It's an aggrivated tendon, and it doesn't hurt (it causes a tingling sensation, or it used to, after a run), PT and ortho say it's not structural, muscular. But it's still enough to scare me.
I guess I thought I was invincible.
got carried away.
Something like that.
But it means for me, no races for the rest of this season. Which is really hard. Too hard. The thought of not being able to run...the thing I love so much....really has been hard to process.
I know it's not true, but I feel like a ball of laziness, not having any athletic outlet (I can't run, cycle, zumba, walk, only swim on occasion). Thus, I have lost my "daily" (every-other-daily) runs. Up hills with the running stroller in the middle of the day, feeling the ugly tan lines perpetuate on my legs--I love that feeling:). I've lost my night runs while J has his guys night at the house, I've lost my early morning 2 hour runs on Saturdays...
I feel really sad.
At church, we sang a song with lyrics that sang:
"I am free to dance....I am free to run...I am free to live for You...I am free". I got choked up.
I can't run.
There are times when even productive things become bad things. You know. When they become more important than the Most Important Thing. I think busyness, sleeplessness, fatigue, etc.--all the things that accompany motherhood--can be huge distractors from our walk with God. At least, for me, this has been true. I have climbed the 'slippery slope' to where now it is hard for me to have a dedicated, consistent time in the Word. We decided earlier this year that this is not the right time for us to be in a bible study as a family. However, I still need the accountability and calling-out.
So grateful for church Sunday. Even though it is painful, I am slowing being able to find joy in the fact that I can't run. Because I can. I can run toward the Lord still, and my legs can't keep me from Him.
Fitness is important...but it isn't Everything.
